People were talking about £100 million in compensation, I was dreaming of a $1 billion dollar dowry form marrying an heiress
And
then there was the Gulf War with the lame American fighter pilots flying
overhead and going supersonic before they were over the sea and deafening all
also some of them were waving to me personally as I was hanging out on the
Beach by myself or with my mates, and in Quasar, the US Marines would take over
and I would lose my top gun status, Arabs taking off their shoes and throwing
them at you in frustration, falling over on escalators and cutting your legs
open, days in deira city centre, Ace Ventura at the cinema. And the road
traffic accidents when the dodgy road sings would fall on cars crushing them,
or an angry man would not give way at a turning and smash a White families car
up on his way home from Ramadan killing some of them, or a huge pile up on the
motorway, fire hoses to quickly wash all the blood off the surface. Angry
truckers try and force you off the road, being arrested because your husband
got stung by a stingray after a boat race, getting beat up and cut up really
badly on the playground at break time, getting into fights with Americans,
falling off the board on a waterslide and flaying your skin on the friction
pad, splitting open your chin on the lip of the pool, being harassed by Indian
workmen without passports or visas or money or women in the middle of the
desert. Wasps biting through your leather gloves to sting you, ants biting you
all over your arms, falling off your bike and cutting open your leg on a
corner, jellyfish tentacles stinging your wrists and ankles, tar on the beach
from the ships cleaning their tanks at sea, 2m barracudas and puffer fish that
can bite your fingers off. Flying to the UK by yourself, going to a new
school where everyone knew each other with only boys, going to Eton College
with Royalty.
Also
you had to win a tennis tournament not to be abused as a kid, and then you get
completely disrespected at golf tournaments. Weekends at the Country club or
Emirates Golf Club. Being excluded from the Rugby
team even though you have the top rugby certificate in the school from PE was
pretty low, football and basketball on the basketball courts, ballet dancing,
tap dancing, taekwondo. Watching porn on laser disc, school discos, racing on
the motorway, going skiing in Switzerland + France, visiting relatives in
Norway during the heatwave, site seeing in Italy, seeing family in India,
coming back to the UK every year, visiting Oman, spending 6 months during the
Gulf War in Calcutta. Playing squash with a French Air Hostess, beach side
barbeques, Halloween, staying at friends houses having people to stay, cycling
in the desert, raiding empty houses, setting road traps, denting Porsches with
sling shots, smoking, birthday parties, sega mega drive, red alert on the pc,
colonization on the amiga, sim cty and street fighter on the snes.
That's
about all I used to get up to when I was a kid.
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