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People were talking about £100 million in compensation, I was dreaming of a $1 billion dollar dowry form marrying an heiress

And then there was the Gulf War with the lame American fighter pilots flying overhead and going supersonic before they were over the sea and deafening all also some of them were waving to me personally as I was hanging out on the Beach by myself or with my mates, and in Quasar, the US Marines would take over and I would lose my top gun status, Arabs taking off their shoes and throwing them at you in frustration, falling over on escalators and cutting your legs open, days in deira city centre, Ace Ventura at the cinema. And the road traffic accidents when the dodgy road sings would fall on cars crushing them, or an angry man would not give way at a turning and smash a White families car up on his way home from Ramadan killing some of them, or a huge pile up on the motorway, fire hoses to quickly wash all the blood off the surface. Angry truckers try and force you off the road, being arrested because your husband got stung by a stingray after a boat race, getting beat up and cut up really badly on the playground at break time, getting into fights with Americans, falling off the board on a waterslide and flaying your skin on the friction pad, splitting open your chin on the lip of the pool, being harassed by Indian workmen without passports or visas or money or women in the middle of the desert. Wasps biting through your leather gloves to sting you, ants biting you all over your arms, falling off your bike and cutting open your leg on a corner, jellyfish tentacles stinging your wrists and ankles, tar on the beach from the ships cleaning their tanks at sea, 2m barracudas and puffer fish that can bite your fingers off. Flying to the UK by yourself, going to a new school where everyone knew each other with only boys, going to Eton College with Royalty.

Also you had to win a tennis tournament not to be abused as a kid, and then you get completely disrespected at golf tournaments. Weekends at the Country club or Emirates Golf Club. Being excluded from the Rugby team even though you have the top rugby certificate in the school from PE was pretty low, football and basketball on the basketball courts, ballet dancing, tap dancing, taekwondo. Watching porn on laser disc, school discos, racing on the motorway, going skiing in Switzerland + France, visiting relatives in Norway during the heatwave, site seeing in Italy, seeing family in India, coming back to the UK every year, visiting Oman, spending 6 months during the Gulf War in Calcutta. Playing squash with a French Air Hostess, beach side barbeques, Halloween, staying at friends houses having people to stay, cycling in the desert, raiding empty houses, setting road traps, denting Porsches with sling shots, smoking, birthday parties, sega mega drive, red alert on the pc, colonization on the amiga, sim cty and street fighter on the snes. 

That's about all I used to get up to when I was a kid.


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